Mediation in Divorce

Mediation in marital matters does not only mean divorce, but in such cases, the first effort of both parties should be that if there is even one percent possibility of living together, then it should be converted into a hundred percent. Similarly, the mediator should also not be hasty in suggesting the option of divorce. In the Indian perspective, marriage is an unbreakable bond and a sacrament, and we should make every effort to save it. In the initial stage of marriage, there is less mutual understanding, both try to control each other, there is more interference from parents, and the feeling of doubt and distrust also becomes stronger.
After the golden age passes, the realities of life come to the fore. That’s when the biggest test comes for this relationship to be maintained. It is often seen that, due to high expectations from each other in the beginning, disputes arise on small matters. Due to immaturity in this initial stage,  lack of adequate understanding of resolving disputes, and not getting proper guidance, these disputes escalate over time and take place of conflict . Instead of helping in resolving the conflict, some special well-wishers add fuel to the fire, and the dispute reaches the court. Once either party reaches the court, the situation goes out of the control of both parties. After reaching there, to strengthen their respective cases, false and character-related allegations are made against each other. During the litigation, bitterness between them increases so much that all possibilities of living together in the future are destroyed. their  behavior deteriorates and  looking at his behavior, it seems that they are  one of the The biggest enemies of the world who take pleasure in troubling each other. The result of reaching the court is not gratifying, but in the end, both parties feel cheated. All the dreams that were shown before reaching the court were destroyed. In the end, they get frustrated and lose time and money.  lifelong mental anguish and suffering Loneliness and regrets Then they neither had relatives nor well-wishers who took them to court.
Here, I consider it appropriate to mention two such families in which the first couple, due to disputes arising within two years of marriage, reached the court and after mediation proceedings got a divorce with mutual consent . The second family, even after serious disputes arose, took the decision wisely,  take less with restraint. They passed the difficult times patiently and is living a happy life today.

 First family:– Husband and wife worked as software engineers for a national-level private company. After meeting in the office, they decided to get married, and the families of both parties also agreed. The marriage ceremony took place in the manner of an arranged marriage. Both resided in Bengaluru, where a girl was born within a year of marriage. Since the beginning of their marriage, both of them used to quarrel over small matters, and many times the husband used to raise his hand to the wife. After the birth of their daughter, the wife’s mother started living with them in Bengaluru and used to interfere a lot in domestic matters. In a dispute between husband and wife, she used to take her daughter’s side. Due to continuous disagreements and disputes, she came to Indore with her mother and, after a few days, filed cases of maintenance, domestic violence, section 498a IPC, and divorce against her husband in court. spent almost two years in court, wasting time and money, After mediation of the case at the direction of the court referred for medical treatment, the marriage was dissolved with mutual consent. The wife also received a fixed amount as a one-time settlement, and other cases were also closed. It has been about 6 years since the marriage got divorced. The wife is still single. She has not remarried. Her daughter is now about 7 years old. She does not know her father. When she ask her mother about her father, she says something imaginary. . Although the wife is financially capable and is taking good care of her daughter, there is a strange dullness in life, and sometimes the thought comes to mind that if the initial difficult times after marriage were handled wisely, had she been fired, perhaps she would have been living a happy married life today. But that time has passed; now there is no point in repenting.

 Second family:  In this family, husband and wife are in government jobs; both of them have been short of time since the beginning. Due to this, there have been disagreements on small things from the beginning, which later took the form of disputes. The dispute turned into a conflict, and the wife even lodged a complaint with the police several times out of immediate impulse, but each time the husband acted with the utmost understanding and did not play an active role in the conflict but remained calm and gave the wife an opportunity to repent. A boy was born after two years of marriage. With the passage of time, mutual understanding and patience increased, and soon they understood that a happy married life is priceless and no property can take its place. Almost 7 years have passed since their marriage, and they are living a happy married life.
Mediation in marital matters should be considered successful only when the husband and wife understand each other’s feelings and want to live together happily.  If mediation is used as a means of divorce, then, in my humble opinion, mediation cannot be considered successful.

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